by Mary Leman Grimstone (1796-1869)

The Poor Woman’s Appeal to Her Husband**

You took me, Colin*, when a girl, unto your home and heart,

To bear in all your after fate a fond and faithful part;

And tell me, have I ever tried that duty to forego—

Or pin’d^ there was not joy for me, when you were sunk on woe?      

No—I would rather share your grief than any other’s glee,

For though you’re nothing to the world, you’re all the world to me;

You make a palace of my shed—this rough-hewn bench a throne—

There’s sunlight for me in your smile, and music in your tone.

I look upon you when you sleep, my eye with tears grow dim,

I cry ‘ O Parent of the poor, look down from Heaven on him;

Behold him toil from day to day exhausting strength and soul—

Look down with mercy on him, Lord, for thou cans’t make him whole!’

And when at last relieving sleep has on my eyelids smil’d,

How oft are they forbade to close in slumber, by my child;

I take the little murmurer, that spoils my span of rest,

And fell it is a part of thee I lull upon my breast.

There’s only one return I crave,—I may not need it long,

And it may soothe thee when I am where the wretched feel no wrong!

I ask not for a kinder tone—for thou wert ever kind;

I ask not for less frugal fare—my fare I do not mind;

I ask not for more gay^^ attire—if such as I have got

Suffice to make me fair to thee, for more I murmur not:

But I would as some share of hours that you at clubs bestow—

Of Knowledge that you prize so much, may I not something know?

Subtract from meetings among men, each eve, an hour for me—

Make me companion of your soul, as I may surely be!

If you will read, I’ll sit and work; then think when you’re away—

Less tedious I shall find the time, dear Colin, of your stay.

A meet companion soon I’ll be for e’en your studious hours,—

And teacher of those little ones you call your cottage flowers;

And if we be not rich and great, we may be wise and kind;

And as my heart can warm your heart, so may my mind your mind.

M. L. G. 
(1832 or 1834)

**Also know as "The Wife's Appeal to Her Husband"

*Some editions of this poem have replaced with name “Colin” with the name “William” in this particular line, which could be in reference to her seond husband. The University of Wellington in New
Zealand posted this poem in The New Zealand Electronic Text as “William” instead of “Colin.” Nobody is quite sure why or when this change took place.  

^pained

^^beautiful, expensive

 

Introduction

Mary Rede was born in Beccles, Suffolk to her father Leman Thomas Rede, a barrister and writer. She herself began writing in 1815 at the age of nineteen, and a great deal of her early work was published in a British women’s magazine created by John Bell, La Belle Assemblée. The next year she married her first husband Richard Grimstone, though he would die about five years later, forcing her to move to Hobart, Australia with her sister Lucy and Lucy’s husband. She wrote a number of pieces, her fist being a novel titled Lousia Egerton, which was published in 1830. She was extremely involved in the socialist movement, and would even contribute pieces to the newspaper New Moral World. She married her second husband, William Gillies, in 1836, and took a hiatus from writing for a time, though her works were still highly regarded.  She was strong feminist and advocate for women’s rights, though she took a less radical and forward stance than most others, and she would often speak on women’s moral qualities, as well as writing quite a bit about her homeland of Australia. She is even speculated to be the basis for “Lady Psyche” in Tennyson’s The Princess. She ceased writing all together in 1851 when The People’s Journal shut down, and died in Paddington after swallowing disinfectant.

A Note on the Text

The Poor Woman’s Appeal to Her Husband, also known as The Wife to Her Husband, was a feminist poem written by Mary Leman Grimstone. There is some question as to when this poem was first published, and in what media. The New Zealand Electronic Text Collection claims that it was published in 1834 in a British Monthly called The Monthly Repository which was a Unitarian periodical which ran between 1806 and 1838, and the editor of the magazine, W. J. Fox, even ranked Mary with Jane Austen.. However, based on my research this is not the first place that this poem was published. It was, in fact, first published in 1832 in “The Tatler: A Daily Journal of Literature and the Stage.” Leigh Hunt, the creator and editor of this journal, published Grimstone’s poem in his March 22nd edition in 1830. Grimstone is also believed to have been the model for Lord Tennyson's Lady Psyche in The Princess (London, 1847).

Grimstone herself was known as a feminist, and many of her writings, one of which was one of the first novels published in Australia, Woman’s Love, worked with that thread. She could often be found with a group of like minded women associated with feminism as well. She greatly desired women to be able to obtain an education and she was a big supporter in the social reform movement, and she would often write for Robert Owen's newspaper New Moral World, which was a popular Socialist Newspaper in the United Kingdom in the 1830's. There is not much known about her poem The Poor Woman’s Appeal to Her Husband, and very little has been written about it. However, based on what we know about Grimstone we can deduce a number of things about this poem. 

The poem begins with a plea and a cry to Colin, whom we are to assume is the speaker’s husband. She reminds him of when they first got married and how she remained faithful to him through it all, and never gave up on that duty. She talks about how when he was pained and hurting she would feel that pain with him instead of living off of other’s happiness or even her own; she would ignore her own joy to feel his pain with him. She prayed for him, bore his children, gave up sleep to take care of their children and the household. For all of this she asks for something in return. Not for his tone to be kinder, or for more clothes or finer things but simply for him to spend some time with her. Instead of going to the “clubs” she wishes that he would spend time with her, and tell her of some of the things that he knows. All she asks is that for one hour that he would spend at clubs with men, that he would instead spend it it with her. She asks that they become one and that he spend a little time with her, and teach her the things that he knows. She seeks and desires his company as well as the knowledge he gains and possesses while she is at home waiting for him and taking care of the children. 

There is a strong sense of love and loyalty to her husband, Colin, that is written in this poem, while also holding the strong undertone of feminism and the desire for knowledge. “Knowledge” within this context seems to encompass a number of meanings. The desire to know her husband on a deeper level, to know who is he, to know what he knows, as well as to gain knowledge of the world she is unable to live in. Grimstone perhaps was trying to relate back to the idea that women can love their husbands and families while still wanting more. Grimstone's own marriages were at times rather strained, so perhaps this poem is in part representing the desire she had for her own husband to spend some time with her, as well as to be his equal within the marriage, further suggesting the feminist influences that she often wrote about.

Bibliography

Roe, Michael. “Grimstone, Mary Leman (1796–1869).” Biography - Mary Leman Grimstone - Australian Dictionary of Biography, 2005, adb.anu.edu.au/biography/grimstone-mary-leman-12954.

The Tatler: A Daily Journal of Literature and the Stage. United Kingdom: J. Onwhyn, 1832, pg 279.

Gillies, Mary Leman. “The Poor Woman's Appeal to Her Husband.” The Monthly Repository, vol. 8, C. Fox, 1834, pp. 351–352.

Lady, An American. “The New Zealand Evangelist.” New Zealand Electronic Text Collection, 2016, nzetc.victoria.ac.nz/tm/scholarly/tei-MinNewZ-t1-g1-t1-g1-t4-body-d4.html

“The Monthly Repository.” Google Books, Google, www.google.com/books/edition/The_Monthly_Repository/4HoUAAAAYAAJ?hl=en. 

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mary_Grimstone.jpg.